July 28, 2011
22 Comments
Hiya sistahs,
just a little OFF crafting WOMANLY topic I wanted to discuss…LOL. So last week we had a BLAST in da BELLA home and BELLALAND of 2 days of crafting.. it was refreshing, fun, inspiring and liberating. It was simply blissful (and I never use those words). But this is a story that I have not yet shared. Paulabella did mention a little bit of it on her blog but I decided to discuss it in better detail here.. and it also has been a while since my last funny-OMG-I-Can’t-believe-this-happened moment post I have shared… so here goes. You ready? Don’t think I am a freak n’k?
Ok so some women RELISH going to the hairdresser.. head massage (my favorite), reading a magazine or ipad, just time to chill on your own.. right??? RIGHT?? n-uh-uh… not I. I get so STRESSED at the hairdresser.. looking at my watch every 5 seconds, looking in the mirror with my hair stuck to my head SLOPPED with color and of course a plastic bag wrapped around it for good measure just EMPHASIZING the chins, wrinkles etc.. cuz there is NO Hair to cover the bad spots! LOL.. I look at that white timer like it is the most important thing in the world… tick tock.. tick tock.. 45 minutes of itchy burning colour on my hair.. trying to look beautiful but to no avail cuz all I see peeking back at me is the chin, and a BLUR cuz my glasses are off.. hmph. I am a like my kids in my car going on a trip.. “are we there yet”? “is my color done yet?”… then the bell rings… FREEDOM.. but no.. my hairdresser is doing someone else’s CHINS-FREE head and I am sitting there waiting thinking she forgot about me. So I casually say “CHRISTINA???” (Ok, I kinda yell).. “MY TIMER RANG….. DID YOU HEAR??”…she says “yes Emily, I know it’s ready.. I am coming to put the GLOSS treatment on”… PLEASE INSERT SHRIEK HERE. I say to her “CHRISTINA, you KNOW I have no patience for gloss.. how long is that gonna take?”.. she says patiently “we go through this every time.. your hair needs it and it is 20 minutes”.. I just grunt, get washed, get GLOSSED, and wait again.. Then finally I go for my cut. Come blow dry time, I get up and run for the cash to pay .. she says “can’t i blowdry your hair?”.. I say “I GOTS-TA go Christina”.. love you.. MWAH! and off I go looking like a plucked chicken. Am I the only one who looks WORSE when a hairstylist does my hair?? Is that supposed to happen????
So it’s been 6 months ish since my last colour and I just kept putting it off due to experience above. My hair was getting GREYER and GREYER (thanks for noticing Susan..LOL).. Because my hair is curly I can get away with it for 6-8 weeks… but SIX MONTHS??? you can just imagine! but I DREAD IT so what can I do?
Enter Ryan.
“Ry, I can’t take my hair anymore.. I look like PEPE le PIOU.
“just go buy a box of colour some sort and I will put it in your hair.. don’t you remember I did that for you a while ago?”
ahem… YES I DO buster.. and I had to go to the hairdresser to FIX it.. don’t YOU remember that? (I’m thinkin’)
“Yes I remember.. maybe that is a good idea.. you’re right.. at least I don’t have to sit at the hairdresser’s for 3 hours.. ok I will buy the box and you will do it”
“OK”
enter PAULA
“Paula, wanna put colour in my hair? I RE-HEALLY don’t want Ryan to do it so since you’re here and you colour your OWN hair, could you PLEASE do that with me so that I can continue to do art whilST marinating in colour?
“Sure, get that box out”
“ok”
So Paula proceeds to take out the ingredients from the box (bought a FOAM cuz I thought it would be easier and bought MEDIUM ASH BROWN)
Paula feeling the vast quantity of hair on my head “Um Em, I think you need two boxes for your hair”
“What? Are you kidding me? ONE BOX IS PLENTY thank you very much”
“ok then”
So paula starts to massage the colour into my hair.
“Paula, do you think you should put a little vaseline or barrier cream on my forehead and near my ears to protect it from colour?”
” Nah.. are you kidding me? it’s FINE”
“ok”
so Paula finishes up the “blending” and the back of my hair is BONE dry. ie. NO COLOUR.
“Paula, do you think you could maybe rub some of the colour to the BACK of my head so that it will take the colour as well?”
“Emily I told you that you needed two boxes.. I ran out.. but don’t worry it will be fine”..
“ok”
So off I go to the shower to rinse and condition .. feels SILKY smooth..
I don’t dry it so it looks really dark but all hair looks dark when it’s wet right?
So we plan to go to the art store and Lindabella and Paulabella look at me and say “YOU GOING OUT LIKE THAT?”
I say “why”? They say “cuz your hair is wet”.. I say, I ALWAYS go out with my hair wet. Ok.. so off we went.
A few hours pass.
I come home. I look in the mirror. I SHRIEK.
my MEDIUM ASH BROWN is PITCH BLACK. and I mean PITCH black. like ELVIRA black. and the back??? Paula, the back?? is a 6 month old red/brown/blonde combo. You can just IMAGINE.
And the PIECE de RESISTANCE? THE COLOUR STUCK TO MY SKIN ALL AROUND MY FOREHEAD and VERY VERY CONCENTRATED around my ear lobes… AND IT DIDN”T WANNA RUB OFFF!!! (now Paula do you think I need Vaseline or Barrier cream? LOL)
So it’s 10pm and Ryan comes downstairs to check on us. I point to my hair and he casually suggests I should go to the pharmacy to buy some more color and that it closes at midnight so I should have enough time (his way of saying YOU LOOK LIKE A FREAK).
So off Paula and I go. and OF COURSE the pharmacy we choose has THE BRIGHTEST LIGHTS YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. So I am trying to duck in the hair color aisle… Paula is laughing cuz every aisle I pass there are TONS of people and all I want me and my TIGER STRIPED hair to be is INVISIBLE. So I grab 2 BOXES of LIGHT HONEY BROWN colour and go to the cash. There’s a lineup!! So I am STANDING THERE in PLAIN VIEW with this THING called HAIR on my head that looks like Daniel Boone’s HAT and have to WAIT for my turn under the BRIGHT LIGHTS! Of course Paula is having the BEST time seeing me SQUIRM. Hmph.
So we get home.. i RESUME position in my chair.. Linda is CACKLING and laughing.. Paula now has enough to SMOTHER my head.. it is 11:00pm at this point.
Moral of the story? ALWAYS BUY 2 BOXES .. LOL. And maybe it IS worth sitting at the hairdressers for 9879 hours to get a proper colour..
Hmph.
I hope I didn’t bore you to death..
Has anything like this happened to you? if so, you HAVE to share so I don’t feel like the only LOSER…LOL
DONT FORGET TO PLACE A COMMENT ON BELLARIFIC FRIDAY POST.. THEME FOR TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS IN JULY!! IT’S not too late!
Mwah to da sistahs who need to cover DA greys
Em
Oh poor Emily! I feel for you and your hair (but me and my poker straight hair are jealous of the curls!) When I was in high school I colored my hair and it came out black so I went and bought color remover….needless to say I then had bright orange hair ala Cyndi Lauper! Will never live that one down!
oh you poor dear! I hope it turned out okay. I cover my greys as well and it took me 7 months to get around to going to the hairdresser to get it done since the last time. Needless to say – there were lots of greys and and lots of hair needing a cut!
I had a friend in “beauty” school while I was in college. She said she could color my hair with the same stuff they use at the salon. I color my hair auburn, it ended up purple.
I am still LAUGHING, because I have been there with FLAME RED hair on my delicate blonde head. Someone thought it would be funny to swap colors in boxes at Wal-Mart…always check the bottle number to the box. But God only knows why the color was SO DARK. That I don’t get…After playing with your curls…I am thankful for my poke straight hair…LOL This was a learning exp. for me…lol and I am laughing so hard reading this. Next time we try a dark blonde, 3 boxes and I will buy them here and save u a FORTUNE!!! Wanna come next weekend for the stamp show????
I am CRYING! LIKE TOTALLY CRYING! my first thought was that you were gonna talk about centipedes! then i was totally relieved that you were just gonna talk about your hair! I hear ya sistah! i HATE getting my grey out too….i watch the clock, tell her na, don’t bother cutting it, i’ll just leave now with wet hair! and once when i had to wait it out my phone was dead and i actually sat on the floor next to the outlet so i could play solitare while i had to wait out my time! I’m surprised I could even write this thru my laughing tears! Next time you endure the three hours of hell, bring a journal along and sketch something! Or, play solitare!
Ahhh…the curse of curly hair…GRABS that hair color…and fades like CRAZY. I speak from experience…like the time one month before my wedding day and I decide to go for a hint of red…came out looking like a carrot. Ugh. Had to go to a salon for a fix…they had to use green dye to reverse the orange effects. Would have worked except for my green scalp. Never again…only a professional will touch my curly locks…even given the massive time suck. Writing to you from Washington State, where my curly hair is near impossible to deal with given the damp Seattle weather. So this past Christmas I gave up my flat iron…which turned out to be the ultimate gift to myself. Step in Ouidad.com curly hair products. Seriously, check them out. And great videos to on their website to help us deal with our frizzies. Leaves me loads more time for stamping. Doesn’t get any better than that! Only curly Bellas for me from now on. MWAH to my fella curly girls!
LOLOL, you did not bore me, I CANNOT stop laughing. This is sooo funny, I can totally picture it.
And no, this has not happened to me bcoz
1/ I hate doing the colour myself and never do it on long hair
2/ I love going to the hairdresser as I see it as ME time (rare and totally appreciated). And there must be someone that looks worse than me, right ? RIGHT?
Hugs to da bella half coloured… (why wasn’t I there to see zat?) LOL
Emily, you need to write a book of funny short stories. Now I feel bad about the grey comment but you have given us all a good laugh. Thank goodness I didn’t mention the black on Wednesday. I have just accepted the grey, could not deal with all the colouring any more.
Even though you told me this story today I am laughing so hard because it’s even funnier in writing! Susan must be more observant than I am because I thought you looked perfectly normal today. 🙂 No hair disasters for me…I have the patience to wait while the hairdresser does it for me. lol
That’s definitely hairror story!! It happened to me once…Saturday night: I decided to put blond streaks in my brown hair. They turned out burnt orange. Sunday morning: I called a friend and told her that I was freaking outtttttt! Her solution? Let’s dye it blond and “even” out the colour. Okay, good idea. NOT! Forty-five minutes later My hair was …no longer burnt orange, but sort of…orange orange. Sunday night: I don dark glasses and a fake nose and go to the drugstore for brown dye, which I am sure will fix it all. NOPE. It turned green. Monday morning: called the best colourist in Ottawa and told him my story. He said to meet him at his salon in one hour. As I approach his shop, I saw him walking toward me on his way into the salon…oh, YOU’RE the lady with the green hair he said to me before I had even entered the shop. What’s your solution to my green hair, I asked him. Hmmmmmm….hmmmmmm….cut it off at the roots. WHAAAAA. No, please not that! Okay, then go home and live with it…and stay out of drug stores!! Long story, but all true!! :o) P.S. I am now a blonde…do my own dye jobs, and never stray from the colour that works. Whew!!
Okay, typing on the iPad, so this short, but soooooo freaking funny!!!! Not the black hair, but huts soooooo you!!!!
Glad you are no longer Pepe le phew… Coinidink, I went to the stylist for my first grey color job and it turned black too….couldn’t believe it!!!! I guess curly hair does grab the color and 2 weeks later, it is fading…no good, but at least it isn’t blackish anymore!!! I hope yours lasts longer, Pepe!!! Lol
I am sure it is gorgeous and I always buy two boxes… Lol
Xoxo
It has and every time I start going back to the hair dresser then back to box & remember why I go to the hairdresser LOL
OMG Em, I would have laughed so hard, but I remembered some of my own experiences. I used to colour my hair but ended up with blobs in the sink, on the countertop, on the mirror, on the wallpaper, down the back of the bathroom door. Not to mention the stink which would put a skunk to shame. After a bathroom reno, I decided that I was not going to put any more hairdressers out of work. I now take 1 morning a month, go over to the Promenade Mall & get entertained for 3 hours trading family stories & reading out of date gossip rags. My routine is this: foils for highlights, foils for lowlights & the nasty old roots. My only problem is that I can’t stroll through the mall & go shopping at the same time as I’m sure someone would call security on me. I thought about going back to my natural colour (grey with tones of grey & a little more darker grey), but apparently it’s just as much work for upkeep. So screw that, I’ll stay just as I am – poor, but with pretty hair. That’s what it’s all about, right?
ooooh I lol’d at this one…I am not big on patience either..I wish you took a video
Well I admit it, Em…I laughed. Then I felt so bad for you! 🙁
I go to the hairdresser for color and cut without fail every 5 weeks like clock work. I relish the ME time and enjoy chatting with the ladies there (been going there forever so now they are all friends). Hubby gets his hair cut too, so it’s a family affair! AND you are lucky that your hair didn’t turn green or orange or something in between LOL! Hair color NEVER turns out as on the box…it depends on so many things – previous processing, hair type, hair texture, etc. Go treat yourself, Miss Em! And sit back and enjoy ALL OF IT. 🙂
Too funny! l ADORE going to the hairdresser but am still scared of the scissors! Colour I don’t care about but the scissors and how much she’ll chop off freaks me out!
Em…you are so funny. I hate going to hairdresser too but I suffer through it. My hair is total opposite of your though, I have poker straight hair, not a curl in sight, unless I get a perm which I never plan to do again (my mother gave them to me as a child, worst sight ever, probably worse than your colour problems.)
You are too funny Emily!! Absolutely loved reading your story & can picture you every step of the way.
I’m sure you look lovely regardless of your ‘traumatic experience”!!
This has happened to me too, back in university. I was dirt poor and couldn’t bring myself to spend the money going to the hairdresser so I bought a nice blond colour from the drugstore and my girlfriend did it for me. Little did I know that I have a red undertone to my hair (dirty blond) and I ended up with a horrible orange colour at the end of it all. I actually cried. Now I laugh at the thought of it but at the time it is horrifying. I too hate sitting at the hairdresser for that long, especially now that I have a 3 year old.
If I didn’t feel like a sistah before, I do now!!! I hate sitting there in the awful brown cape, hair plastered down, yuck yuck yuck! All those other chinless people, who have perfect bone structure to deal with fluorescent lights, capes, and plastered hair, me to deal with my chins and theirs….sigh… I feel your pain!
just popped back in to read comments and LAUGHING AGAIN!!!! maybe we should find a hairdresser halfway between chatham and toronto and make a date every 5 weeks (although, i REALLY need to color every 4) and then the two of us could sit in the salon for 3 horrid hours and chat or journal together or something.
all I can say is that I am sorry I missed that!!!!! Sounds like a “I Love Lucy” episode!!!!!!!!